it's been 43 days where i've been queueing for my nasi lemak.... and day by day i am going for lunch earlier. and i still dun get to eat... haiz... fated...

tired of queueing... and tired of dancing.... i give up...

went to michelle and why pong yesterdae... went to visit them but they were busy. so just gave an excuse to sae i wanna buy shoe brush. got it and left... ... come to think of it. having the shoe brush is kinda useless. i will not be using it after musical... maybe will keep it in club room for them to use....

getting weaker day by day.... but i will still press on.... for the sake of peter.... coz it's a promise...

braindead corpse
benji

here i am still alive to narrate to you the terrible life of benjamin foo hong cheng again

for the past 42 days, i have been queueing everydae, to eat the nasi lemak at the food centre.... (it's not exactly fantastic but i just like it)... and for the past 10 days, i am always the exact person in the queue being shooed away coz the nasi lemak is sold out..... one more and i'll be able to eat the nasi lemak! haiz....

dancing was my fav pasttime, but now it's my most dreaded torture....

musical is round the corner and we are all getting ready. but the though of partnering her is a burden, hassle, torment, wadeva words i can use to describe....

i am really tired of pulling her from the rock bottom. especially when she is resisting help. her passion is rinsed out... and i am totally drained out....

people always label us as the best couple but they do not know the hardship that we went thru. scolding her time and again is as miserable to me. i am helping her but she just dun get it into her fucking brain.... she kept assuming that i am against her.... and i am tired. washing my hands off.... never again i will scold her...

who will actually see wad we went thru? at the end of the day, on the stage, people will only say, hey look at her she's so good! but behind the stage while practicing, people will only say, hey ben stop scolding her. she's a ger, she's ur partner. u shouldn't have scolded her. u are wrong to scold her. and the list goes down... get it? i am always the black face in the club... and i dun think my effort for the aprtnership will be recognised one dae. i am tired.... washing my hands off the club soon....

the basic rules of partner dancing applies... and it seems that it's the other way round for us. i am having a hard time pulling a peice of 100 ton dumbbell across the dancefloor. and i dun see in wad way we are good. it's tiring for me... and it really does affect me.

for all dances, she tried to overpower, though sometimes she doesn't mean it. but when u are up on the stage, people dun care wad u haven been thru, how much u have improved over the short period of time. they only see how bad u are when dancing. PERIOD!!!

not following as a follower, and becaouse of this i have to counter her with an extra force to brign her back.... haiz... how long more can i go? i dunno coz i am really shag....

when we go for tango class, people look good of us and wants to send us for competition. i dispose the idea... coz i dun want to fight a war of such a small probability of success.... besides i am tired.... everytime it's me working the partnership out... haiz... i am tired...

dancing with other ladies is a much lighter chore...... the difference is huge. they follow and they take advice. they feel light and they are willing to improve. all driven by this catalyst called passion for dance.

dance was a enjoyable moment of my life. but today, it is a nightmare, a burning session. and i am burnt to the bones...

i lost all my appetite and i noticed the worn out me.... almost unrecognisable to my close frens... dead was the old benji... the cheerful, optimistic benji.... he was beaten by dance... his most devoted activity....

i promised PETER to finish the muscial and i will... i dunno if i can pull thru but i will try my very very very best to drag this corpse of benjamin foo hong cheng onto the dance floor.....

with this i shall end the miserable life of the braindead

regards,
braindead dancer