God is out to make fun of me....

been brooding thru the person i hated the most....




Although things have past for quite a long time... but i have yet to recover from the stabs that i had..

i realised that the love has far surpassed the hatred... but somehow or rather i just cannot make myself go up and embrace the loved one...

i met that bitch, yes that bitch, after clubbing on sat... Faisal, Haril and some frens were planning to chill out at tentric when faisal suggested to go clubbing... we went along to let loose and forget abt everything... but the least expected came true....

while we were on our way home at abt 3am, while i was walking on the road, i bypassed this van, i turn back as i feel that some1 is looking at me at the other side of the van, and it happened to be that bitch...

time paused.... for that split second, all sorts of feeling went thru me.... it's like mixing all the sauces in 1 and feeding it to me...

i feel like giving a slap or 2 to that bitch... but at the same time, i wished that i could go up and embrace that bitch, crying my hearts out....

unfortunate or lucky, i didn't....

giving a slap will only show how petty i am, wad a narrow minded person i was... hugging and crying will only show that i am weak and cannot do without that bitch...

i wish that i could say things like: i need not slap, cry nor hug..... coz that bitch dun deserve my tears... ;i feel disgusted to hug that bitch... later she spread wadeva diseases to me.... ;slapping will only dirty my own hands.... but i couldn't mouth it out...

love is not an easy game to play with... and i burnt my hands once again.... i dunno when i will pick myself up...

my whole holiday is crashed... for 1 person...

my frens all talked me in to forget and walk on... but easier said than done...

i mean i am not very bad in terms of character and personality... but why god wanna play a trick on me? giving me such a good looking but rotten apple...

this is a whole new season where ppl break off and get hurt... many of my frens broke of in this month... and it affected me very much....

some came up to me to suggest to go steady wid me but i rejected them all... over here i would like them to know that i am sorry, but just not ready to get hurt again.... my mind is brittle and weak...

gimme some time... sorry...